Working with Anxiety

If you are struggling with anxiety, you will get through it. Something is not working, the feelings of anxiety are drawing your attention to it.

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stressing the body past its tolerance, whether through an extreme life event, or months of unhappiness and stress. What you are feeling is natural and many others have been through the same or similar (a survey has shown that 40% of GP appointments are related to mental health), just most people don’t talk about it. The important thing is you act to improve your situation, and it's worth highlighting that there are postives from feeling anxious:

The body is doing you a favour and telling you that you are not happy
Anxiety forces you to look at what's important in your life and what you need to change
Your depth of understanding increases
You are kinder to yourself because you have to be
You appreciate the small things; being content
You are more compassionate towards others
You try new things that can make you happy
You invest in your mental health
Become healthier, avoiding stimulants and exercising

What people are feeling

Anxiety turns your life upside down. You rarely feel settled and are often on edge, desperate to feel comfortable again. You’ve moved into a different channel, apart from ‘normal’ life. You look at people on the street, they look carefree, your daily tasks a bigger hurdle; will I be ok on the train, at work, in that meeting, can I survive like this?

It can be dramatic if it has come on suddenly and is quite shocking if it's a new experience. Anxiety that stops you from functioning, normally related to a nervous breakdown. The nervous system over sensitised, most likely related to prolonged pressure. It is your body's way of saying you need to change what you are doing. It probably never entered your mind that this could happen. It’s very real, but you can manage it to a point where it is very liveable and in many cases resolved.

People don’t talk about it

People rarely spoke about anxiety, and there wasn’t much information about to clarify what you were feeling. You thought it was something specific to you, so you wouldn’t talk to other people about it. It made you feel less than you were. Now mental health is very much on trend, and many companies are latching onto it. Those in the public eye want to share their stories. How authentic this is, is up for debate. The benefit is that the subject has now been broached; telling a close friend or a manager you are struggling is slightly easier. But feeling ‘less’ than others because we are not ‘feeling’ like we think they are, is always going to be difficult to talk about, and many people won’t talk about it for that reason. It's animal instinct to hide weakness, and one you can’t see is easier to hide. Problem is, if you can’t see it then you can’t validate it with others. You don’t know how bad it is and if its ‘normal’, because you can't compare it. Is it intrinsic to me? There’s only something wrong with me? Most likely no, you are not special in that way. Everyone is struggling with mental health to different degrees at different times in their lives.

Everyone, has experienced anxiety and it should be a case of saying I am struggling with anxiety at the moment. It’s a fact. Not to be dramatised or made less or more than what it is. Let’s do something to sort it out. Same as ‘I have a headache', you can’t see it, there are no side effects visible, but I have it.

Anyone can breakdown mentally or physically, it might not have happened yet, but it doesn’t mean it won’t. Life is tough, so remember everyone is going to struggle at one point or another. Just make the changes you need to, to feel better. Hope and a plan are a great remedy to feeling better.

Take a closer look

It is helpful to look at this logically. When you break your leg your nervous system reacts by generating extreme pain; your body needs to heel as a priority. Similarly, with a nervous breakdown, you have stimulated the brain to a point where it can no longer function properly. You have put your brain in flight mode. It believes you are being attacked and is preparing your body to run. Core behaviours/symptoms include but are not limited to:

Excessive worrying; repetitious without control and extreme beyond context
Blood is moved from the stomach to the muscles for fight or flight, giving that butterfly feeling
Heightened senses to see threats; seeing things that aren’t there
Increased heart rate, dry mouth, profuse sweating, stomach pains and stress headaches
Restlessness; feeling on edge, as if something bad is coming
Difficulty concentrating; the thinking part of your brain is impaired, going into instinctive response to preserve yourself
Depersonalisation; feeling unreal, detached and unfocused on emotion. Characterised by struggling for self-awareness and emotional numbness, estranged from one's self and reality. Is usually intermittent and heightened with increased anxiety
Difficulty sleeping or staying awake
Panic attacks; a sense of dread that overwhelms, leading to trouble breathing, untenable feelings of loss of control or that you are about to die

Steps to feel better

Below are some tips to help manage anxiety:

See your GP (most practices allow you to call at 8am to book an appointment for that day). The right medication will reduce your symptoms and give you space to think about a long-term solution. The prescribed medication will start at a very low dose to test that you are comfortable and there are no significant side effects. The GP can also sign you off from school or work, if time away from these helps. If you have health insurance, your GP can refer you to a psychiatrist (the NHS only fund this for the most extreme cases). A psychiatrist will diagnose you and give expert guidance on treatments and medication
Breathing exercises should really help to calm you down. Deep in breaths with extended out breaths are known to relax the body
Go easy on yourself. Giving yourself a hard time for any reason, is only going to make things worse
Speak to whoever you need to, to release the stress. If you find this difficult ask someone you trust to have that conversation for you. If you work and your company has a HR department, speak to them or send an e-mail. In general companies are better setup now to support people with mental health
Think in the right way; don’t ruminate. You have never lived in the future or the past, just right now. You are ok now and you will be ok then.
Accept that you can live with the anxiety, that this is you. You should feel better for it
Mindfulness; allowing your brain to stop churning and be in the moment; observing without thinking. There are many sources of information on this on the internet
Don’t try to fight the anxiety, if you observe it you realise it's not as scary as you thought. Just watch the feelings without the internal dialogue
Find that thing that helps you to relax; whether its walking, running, yoga or meditation
Put yourself first. You are no good to anyone until you feel better
You will have good days and bad days, don’t expect a linear improvement. You could have a bad day unexpectedly followed by a great day (and vice versa). This is going to be lumpy for a while
Let time pass and don’t fixate on feeling better. It may not be obvious day to day, but over the weeks and months you will feel better
Get outside, it was where we were meant to be and can help improve mood
Eat healthy. If you are putting the right things in, you will naturally feel better
Sleep the hours you need. Sleep deprivation can exacerbate the symptoms of anxiety